Little miracles

It's the little miracles that happen every once in a while that convince me that we're not working in vain and that some day these kids really can grow up to be strong men and women of God. Like yesterday.
I walked in to third grade during recess and the kids were eager to announce to me that Alejandra was crying (Honestly, in third grade, I have 21 pairs of eyes....mine and 20 other pairs always jumping to tell me when they see something). I asked why and somehow they all knew that Lucero had said something about Alejandra's dad and that's why she was crying (news travels fast in third grade as well). So I went to talk to the two girls. Alejandra was indeed crying...maybe sobbing is a better word. Through tears she managed to tell me that Lucero had said something mean about her dad and she was very hurt. Lucero then told me that Alejandra had said mean things about her, although she couldn't remember what at first. So we talked about saying nice things to each other and how we need to be kind in our words and actions, etc. I wrote a note home to Lucero's parents and Alejandra seemed to be feeling better, so I left them to their own devices.
I had brought a birthday cake in to celebrate two birthdays that hadn't gotten recognized yet. I told Lucero that because of what happened between her and Alejandra, she couldn't have a piece of cake. So we sang and then I began to cut the cake. We distributed pieces to the students one by one. When Alejandra came to take her piece, she said "I'll take Lucero's piece too". I reminded her that I had told Lucero she couldn't have a piece because of what had happened. "Oh no," she told me "We said we're sorry and forgave each other. It's okay now". (No, I didn't ask them to do that). I could tell she really meant it. "Okay," I said. "So do you want Lucero to have a piece of cake?" She paused to think it over for a second. "Yes", she replied, and went back to her seat with the two pieces of cake in her hands, one for her and one for Lucero.
Silently, inside, I was amazed and rejoicing. We're trying to teach our students to respect each other and be like Jesus, but so often it seems like a losing battle because the way of the cross is so counter-human and counter-cultural. Every once in a while I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and God gives me hope. It's in those little miracles that I see that God really is working and that all of this is not in vain. Go God!

Ideas...

It seems odd to me that at least twice now, I have gotten good ideas that worked for my third grade class while in the middle of corporate prayer and worship. I could understand it if it was just me and God and I'm asking for the ideas. But while I'm supposed to be concentrated on praying with a group or worshipping? Well, I'm still trying to figure that one out.
But they come anyway, unbidden, filling my mind with plans and thoughts and wondering if they really will work.
And then this morning I had another idea. A big one. Really big. What if I write scripts for my third graders and we make our own TV programming, based on Bible stories? That's what our next unit is about. It sounds like fun...at least to me. A lot of work, but definitely fun.
These ideas are exciting. I enjoy them. They make me energized and excited. But they're also kind of scary. What if they don't work? What if I'm overestimating my students? What if they're too big?
And yet, you never really know until you try. You can live life doubting, scared and never willing to step out and act on things. Or you can grab life by the horns and take everything out of it that you possibly can, trusting in God to take over where you come to an end.
And so I take the leap of faith and trust that there are arms bigger, a creativity larger, a God wiser and more loving than I can possibly know. A God who is big enough to give me big dreams and ideas and big enough to help me make them happen. A God who is stronger and wiser than I am. A God who is more amazing than I can imagine.
Cause at the end of the day, no matter what happens or doesn't happen in English class, that's what really matters. So Jesus, I trust in You. I trust in Your goodness. I trust in Your strength.

crazy times...

Sorry it's been so long...
The last few weeks have been crazy and I have had neither time, energy nor motivation to write on here. Okay, so the last you knew was that there was a possibility that one of the teachers would leave PROMESA. Sadly, that happened, for reasons beyond anyone's control. It was hard to see her go. We're hoping she'll be able to come back next year and teach again. 2 days before Luz left, Leo walked in off the street, said he'd heard that we were looking for a teacher and wondered when he could schedule an interview. It just so happened that Ron had free time right then (some sort of minor miracle), so they did the interview on the spot. To make a long story short, we now have a new third grade teacher and Ron has some male companionship on the teaching team.
The downside to Luz leaving (besides the fact that she isn't here anymore) is that it was very hard for the kids. Because of all the uncertainty that accompanied her leaving, the students didn't actually even know until the morning of her last day. I think that made it even harder for them. They expressed a lot of feelings of rejection, fear, anger, sadness, and insecurity over the days following her leaving. Some of those feelings came out in increased measures of bad behavior. The first week was the worst and they've been gradually getting better since then.
I think it's been a combination of many things that have made the last few weeks difficult. The middle of the year has come and gone. Things that have been bugging me over the last few months (talking in class, not doing homework, playing with things in their desks during class, etc) have built up to a frustration level. One of my students has some emotional and behavioral needs that are beyond what I can help in the middle of class with 20 students. I'm spending a lot of time working and planning. I'm tired.
And yet, in the middle of all this, I have found God's grace to be so great. I have been amazed and in awe of it so many times. I have been finding new depths of grace as I need more of it. And it has been beautiful.
This past week has been easier. I had a very relaxing weekend. I got a lot of exercise, which felt good. I got a guitar, so I've been playing and worshipping with that this week. And then, on top of that, on Monday and Wednesday, there was a transportation strike and we didn't have school either day. Those two days, I had some time to spend with friends and get some things done. And I had a break from nixy kids. So I am feeling better and I feel like I have more hope.
September is here. And with it comes the rainy season and the coming of spring. I felt today like maybe with the coming of a new season outside will come a new season in the classroom as well.
So I will keep pressing on and living in the middle of God's grace, learning more about Him.